4 month review

Well, it’s that time again; a month had seriously flown by. I haven’t posted much because, well, we don’t have wifi at the moment and I’ve been soaking up every moment with you. I’m having the time of my life. You are seriously the sweetest. 


Overall you are an easy baby. We’ve had a few bumps in the road: hospital stay at 2 months, first cold at 3 months. So, 4 months brings about a yeast diaper rash. You are getting rather spunky in your personality. You’re going to be a wild child. Let’s get down to buisness, shall we?

Weight: 10 pound                                Diaper size:  1                                Clothes size: newborn


  • smiling and laughing
  • everything Mom
  • talking the louder the better
  • being read to
  • chewing on my fingers
  • holding your own bottle
  • pulling on my hair
  • going to bed at night 
  • your giraffe teething toy
  • bath time 
  • favorite blankies
  • sitting up 
  • being sung to
  • watching me eat
  • watching tv


  • getting hot / sweaty
  • tummy time
  • getting your nose plunged

   Love you sassy girl



blankets + bottles

Hey B, 

I just wanted to do a quick, quick stop in to say that you’ve got your first chest cold 😦 that I gave you. You’re welcome; I’m sorry. I really hope you get better soon! 

Also, you’ve discovered your little hands and that you can do stuff with them. You can (sometimes) hold your little bottles by yourself, and you *love* grabbing your blankets and putting little bits of them in your mouth. It’s pretty much the cutest thing ever. 

  Get well soon; love ya! 

p.s. Your hair continues to fall out. You now look like George Costanza.

3 month review

B, you turned three months old the other day. I can’t believe it, and I’ve loved, basically, every minute of it! I’ve gone to bed before you a few times. That’s about it. So, this will be your first review. Before now we were just gathering data for a proper first assessment. 

 They call the newborn stage (aged birth – three months) the fourth trimester. Honestly, you are an easy baby, and you’ve only gotten easier since your *hospital stay*. And now you’re losing your hair. You’ve got one hell of a Boosie fade, but it’s adorable just like everything about you. 


  Before we begin, here’s your first creation: a blanket dress; 100% cotton.

Weight: 8 pounds                                   Diaper size: newborn                                 Clothes size: newborn

  1. Me, mom! (Or as you call me Momsa) 
  2. You think you’re dad’s pretty cool too.
  3. Sleeping with me
  4. Making faces / smiling 
  5. Breastfeeding (even though we supplement with formula) 
  6. Baths
  7. tv (although I dislike that you watch it) 
  8. You’ve also been talking a lot lately and very loudly. I’m assuming you like to do this. 


  1. Being hungry (duh)
  2. Being sleepy (duh)
  3. Getting your nose sucked for boogers (You are a little congested right now, and you even hate getting a booger that’s basically hanging out of your nose extracted).
  4. Being *gasp* ignored, even though we don’t ignore you. I get it. Seperation anxiety, but we smother you.

You had a little setback with being failure to thrive, but now you’re better and just booming with personality. You’re such a happy, sweet, and loving baby, and we love you. 

  You have seriously given my life meaning. (I’m also going away to college with you. So, don’t be surprised or mad.) 
Love ya, B! 


our plus a day

Well B, we’ve had a hard week plus a day. It’s taken me a while to post anything about it. At first, I thought it best to just leave it be and bypass these trying times and not post anything about it. However, my blog to you is about our life together, and unfortunately sad things happen. 

The plus a day happened last week. It was the first year anniversary of the death of my grandpa; I made mention of it a little while ago. The day was last Wednesday. I knew it was the day as soon as I woke up, and my plan was for us to go see him. I hadn’t actually been to his grave since he died. I don’t believe I have to visit him all the time to remember him. He’s everywhere to me. Anyway, I had to push myself to go. I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t go. I was in a bit of denial about the whole thing to begin with. Mourning is a strange roller coaster, for me at least. 

Anyway, here we are. This picture was effortless. Your face is my internal emotion about the situation. My face is my external emotion about my internal emotion. Like I said, mourning is a strange roller coaster for me. I’m glad you were there with me for this. Thanks B, love you! 

We love you Grandpa! ❤️

my parenting philosophy (on you)

The best parenting advice that I’ve heard is to not pay attention to those opinions that are thrust upon you as The Word, and every baby is different. Indeed, every baby is different, and every mom knows their child the best regardless of who’s giving the advice. You all have three major needs right now: a clean diaper, to be fed, and to sleep. Even through that every baby is still different. 

As Roseanne once said,”children are like people like that.” I use quotations, but that’s a ridgid paraphrase from the episode where Becky gets suspended for flipping the bird in her class photo. Do they even do class photos anymore? Today? 2015? Anyway, that’s neither here nor there.

People say I hold you too much. Indeed, I do hold you a lot. You do, for lack of a better word, demand that of me. It’s one of your needs. I hold you a lot for many reasons: 1.  I love you unconditionally. I’ve always wanted you; I wasn’t sure when I’d have you, and now that I have you, I don’t want to let you go. 2. On letting go. There will be a day that you will rebel against me, not talk to me for days, maybe even be really mean to me. A little rebellion is even necessary. It will help you find you, but I hope you won’t be mean to me. That would break my heart. I’m sure that hurts most parents’ hearts. So, to deter this, instilling in even an eight week old, I plan to smother you with love. I did not say spoil, but smother. That way when you do go find yourself you will just shave your head or wear blue lipstick. Your hair will grow back, and that lipstick will wash off, but my mother’s love is eternal. And, you will always be my little girl. 3. On smothering. I smother you (and hold you a lot) because you’re my best friend. Not in that mother-daughter best friend relationship where you’re a terror and too old for your own good, but in a way where I just want the best for you, limitations included, and I want you to feel comfortable coming to me with, and for, anything, any age. And that trust begins today where when I hold you, you are completely comfortable in my arms and aren’t scared that I’ll let go. I may put you down sometimes, but I will never let go. 

  Here’s our first Halloween. Sorry I didn’t dress you up. It’s hard finding clothes that fit you! Happy Halloween, B!

Love, Mom 

labor of love

Cheesy, overdone title I know. But, I couldn’t think of a better title that conveys childbirth especially given how much you mean to me, B.

You came in to the world pretty easy, but I’ll spare you every detail. I woke up Wednesday, September 2 and started my day as I always do: slow, easy, and with a clear and open mind. I had been to the doctor the day before and had made no “lady” progress since the prior week. But, I had my first contraction within the first hour I was awake. I had been in pain before and had also had a few cases of Braxton Hicks. So, I wasn’t concerned.

Usually, my contractions only lasted an hour, but an hour passed and I was still having contractions. So, I ate something. Contractions continued. A few hours later I decided to take a shower. Contractions continued. So, I decided to just lay in bed until your dad came home from work, or until I decided I needed to call him so we could go to the hospital.

Your dad got home and thought we were going grocery shopping. Ha! He took a shower; I showered (again). They say you need to be prepared, have a bag packed and have a birthing plan ready. Well, the only thing I had planned was that before I went to the hospital to give birth I was going to shower, and shower I did. I had contractions from 10:30 AM – 5:30 PM. I was pretty sure you were coming.

Cut to three hours later. Here I am getting monitored and waiting to be admitted. Patiently bored is what I’ll call this. So, I think I handled labor pretty well. I was quiet, breathing heavy during the pain. I was admitted into labor and delivery around 10 PM. Your dad was like most dads, “what, now?!”

So, around 1 AM the contractions got a little too much for me. I couldn’t move, and they wouldn’t let me get out of bed because the doctor broke my water. I don’t remember how it happened but I heard the nurse say the epidural was only a butterfly needle. The whole time I denied an epidural like it was my job. As soon as I heard “butterfly needle” I turned my attention to getting an epidural, no coaxing required. I had my IV put in earlier because I needed some antibiotics. So, if I could get my first IV without a noise, epidural please!

I fell asleep. The nurse came in, woke me up, checked me, and got ready to deliver a baby! Your father, “what, now?!”  I kept telling both our families if I had you at 3 AM I was not calling anyone. Little did I know you’d actually come at 3:08 AM. Thanks for that, by the way.

 Here we are minutes later. I’ll call this one nervous, epidural, 3 AM, first time mom, I’m not sure what to do. I think most first time moms are like this, ha! But there are your pretty eyes looking up at me. It gets me every time.

Here we are now. I’ve since gotten the hang of it, and I love it.

Love ya B!

you, me, and our grandparents

 This picture was taken a few days ago, and it makes me delve deep into my emotions I like to keep to myself. It’s bittersweet for me for many reasons.

It makes me realize how aged my grandma is. Hopefully, by now, you are aware of who she is and have a few memorable years of her yourself. I’m sorry you didn’t get her best years. Even today she’s not at her best. She is fighting an uphill battle of advanced dementia. Despite all of that, she loves you something fierce.

It just reminds me of my grandpa, who as you can see is not present in this picture. He died almost a year ago, and it’s coming at me like a freight train.

Here we are. This is how I will remember him: mustache, no shirt, no teeth, and in his chair.

As I’ve stated before I’ve never been the type of girl to just lay out my emotions, but he was everything to me. The relationship I have/had with my parents is nonexistent and a story for another time. But he was more to me than a grandpa. He was my grandpa, my father figure, the man I looked to for answers, and the only man I knew would love me no matter how bad I fucked up or how well I succeeded (until your dad came along). My grandma was the first woman in my life who also loved me unconditionally until I realized at 26 that my aunt was also that person. I loved him more than I ever knew I could love anyone until you came along.

He died 11.04.14, and I found out I was pregnant with you a few days after the new year. I could not shake the fact that you two would never get to meet seeing as the only thing he ever wanted was for me to have children.

He was a very popular man. Everyone he met loved him, and he was a very generous man. He loved me unconditionally. I wish he could have loved you that way too. To him I was one grandchild of six, but he was my everything.

Love you, B.

you in weeks

bb, you are really pulling on my heart strings lately (read everyday). 

This is my all time favorite picture of you. It was taken just four days after you were born. Your little baby eyes open. You hardly opened them until you were two and a half weeks old. Your sweet face knows nothing of the pains, sorrows, or unfairness of life. So sweet. So innocent. It knows nothing but love. Your dad’s love. My love.

  This is your dad’s favorite picture of you. I can see why. You’re adorable. You’re wearing our favorite onsie; it looks adorable on you. You look so comfortable and safe in my arms. It’s where you love to be. I hope you never grow out of that. 
  This is you today. Your bed head gets me everytime. Your lamby jammies. Your big, alert, and loving eyes. My arms are where you love to be. My heart is where you’ll always be. 
I know you’ll grow older, taller, and independent, but you’ll always be my baby. My first baby. 

Love you.

a fork in the road

Well, when I started this blog my intention for it was just to be a generic “family/cooking/lifestyle” blog. But, as I downloaded the WordPress app and started looking around at other peoples’ blogs I see they are more personal than I would have thought. Unfortunately, I’m not the type of girl to just lay it all on the table for even the people closest to me let alone strangers. 

But then I thought my blog does need more substance and meaning. So, as we were making cookies, yes  you at five weeks old helped me make cookies for a bridal shower. (You love to be held. I think you let me put you down about twice a day.) Well, as we were making cookie dough, I thought I’d dedicate my blog to you. So, maybe at a designated age, or when I’m done writing my story, you can sit down and read about me, you, and your dad as I see us through my eyes. 

Love you, bb.